These are core issues involved in break ups.
- Personality gaps
- High expectations
- Hierarchy of needs
At a beginning or in a few initial meetings we behave nicely to each other and we don’t show what we are inside. But as time spends and we keep getting to know each other more deeply then we start finding weak points in personality of our friend or partner. It means after a long time span we find many weak points in other personality and we start liking and disliking on basis of these positive and negative personality aspects. No one in this world is complete, only God is complete and He accepts us with all mistakes and He don’t penalize us on basis of our weaknesses. These are humans who start ignoring on basis of negative aspects of a personality. When we start criticizing a personality on basis of some negative aspects, so in return other person also starts same and finally this leads to a break up.
Here we need to understand that every human being is unique and everyone have some positive and negative aspects, we need to focus on positive aspects so that we may run long in our relationship. If we are in quest of a complete human being that is impossible to find such a human. As someone has said that ” if you are looking for a complete friend you will be left alone ”.
We need only to be tolerate such aspects what we don’t like and let go on our relationship.
Another effect of these personality gaps is that we will be looking for to fulfill these gaps with someone else and after some time we will again fed up and again will have found negative aspects.
In this regard I’d suggest that we should be genuine.
At beginning we respect and devote everything of us for our friend or partner and expectations go high but in real life we can’t bring stars from heaven what we talk about before to bind in any relationship. As for now we have started real life with partner and now real needs to be cope with up, so we find difficult to satisfy every need and wish as a result it weakens our relationship.
It’s our instinct that if our first need is satisfied then we will always be looking for second to be satisfied and so on. We forget that our first need was more important than our second , third , fourth and so on but we start complaining that O’ God please give me this ( last need for instance ) and start complaining that this need is not fulfilled and get depressed and this also leads us to weaken the relationship. Think if any of previous blessing is taken away then we will start regretting. For example I started a career from office boy and reached to top manager and now wishing hard to become CEO and complaining that I deserve only CEO position and God does with me that the top manager position is taken back and I’m demoted to middle manager. Then I will be regretting that I was OK with top manager. So, we should always pay gratitude what we have. It’s doesn’t mean that we stop struggling for a fair wish which we may afford but what is not in our control we should not give up our relationship for that reason.
I’d suggest that we must always pay gratitude what we hold now and don’t ruin our relationships in race to compete with others. While we are comparing with others we wish same thing from our partner and if partner is unable to provide us with same thing we may look forward.